Better Life Habits

I'll bet happy people are more productive than unhappy people.

Just using myself as an example I know that I get more done when I'm in good spirits than when I'm in a funk. In the funk state, one of the best ways to get out of it is simply by forcing yourself to do something productive, then inertia takes control and you start feeling better.

But that's not the point of this post. I was packing lunch for my little one's first day at summer camp today and as I was listing what was going in it to make sure he'd have enough to eat, he asked if I was going to put a note in it. See, during the school year he buys his lunch, but during summer camp we pack it ourselves and sometimes I put a note in it for him to find when he eats lunch. It makes him happy. And of course when he's happy, I'm really happy.

I'll bet it would make grownups happy to find a nice note, too. Not an e-mail, but a handwritten, one sentence note dropped on their desk saying something nice about how a they handled a client or task, thanking them for their help, or letting them know you're in their corner if they are having a tough time of it.

If you try it, let me know how it goes.

Is the problem knowing how to do something or just making yourself do it?

I was helping someone go through a backlog of papers in her office and more than once we came across articles about "how to exercise". In fact, there were a bunch of articles on sit-ups alone.

We had a good laugh when we figured out that she had saved the articles not because she didn't know how to do a sit-up, but because she felt like if she had the article she would be one step closer to actually doing one.

This whole idea is what keeps the fitness industry alive. A person could buy a new video or DVD or piece of exercise equipment every day of the year and after 365 days not be one ounce lighter or one iota fitter. That's because having the information or equipment is entirely different than using it. Ask anyone who is using an expensive treadmill as a clothes rack.

If you want to see change, you have to figure out why you don't do the things that will get you the results you want. That's the knowledge you need to have.

I'll use myself as an example here. I was one of those people that bought videos and exercise equipment and never used them. I thought I had a discipline/willpower problem. I was disappointed in myself because I knew I'd feel better if I got in better shape. So I thought long and hard about why I continued to avoid exercise. I had gathered a lot of information about fitness and knew exactly what exercises I needed to do, so that wasn't the issue. Turns out I had a lonely problem. I hate working out alone -- which is exactly what videos and home exercise equipment required. 

Now I make sure I don't have to work out alone. I've had a personal trainer, I joined a bootcamp, have a membership at a gym and joined a couple of running clubs. I feel better than I did at 30 (I'm 47).

So if there's something that you want and you just can't seem to get off the dime, take a bit of time to think about what -- in your head -- is standing in your way. You'll be closer to getting the results you want.

Is being right more important than getting results?

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like lately there have been a rash of incidents where somebody in conversation has been defending their own, or someone else's, behavior with the rationale that Person A's behavior is reasonable, justified, appropriate, etc. based on what Person B said or did.

The whole reason I was involved in these discussions was that in each case Person A wasn't getting the result they wanted and wasn't happy about it. They wanted to know how to get Person B to understand their wrong-ness.

For example -- Person A feels like they are getting crappy customer service from Person B. So Person A gets snippy with Person B, telling Person B how poorly she's doing her job. How likely is it that the customer service is going to get better? Maybe Person B was a jerk and maybe Person A is entirely justified in letting Person B have it. But if the end result is decent customer service, what can Person A do to achieve that end? Does Person A want to be right or get results?

We have to remember that just because our behavior may be justified that doesn't mean we're going to get the result we want.

Think about the results you want -- not whether or not you're right -- and act accordingly.

Complaining is a habit. A bad one.

Last night a few of us had a nice dinner and then went out for ice cream. It was a beautiful May night with perfect weather -- which we hadn't seen in a while since it's been rainier and colder than usual this spring.

We went to the outdoor custard stand a few blocks away and evidently weren't the only ones who thought it would be a good idea. The line was looooooooooooong. About 10 minutes into our wait the complaining started. "Why is the line so slow?" "They should have more than one window open." And from a little one who was "so stuffed" he couldn't finish dinner 15 minutes before I heard, "I'm hungry!"

I was irritated and started to complain about the fact that they were complaining. (Brilliant, I know. Like the parent that whacks the kid while saying, "Don't hit!")

We talked later about how there really wasn't anything to complain about. We were in no hurry. We were in nice company. It was a lovely evening. Waiting a few more minutes for dessert actually helped our stomachs make room for the chocolate-peanut butter-caramel-pecan-fudge-sin-in-a-custard-cup we gorged on.

How scary is it that we complain without even thinking about it! We decided we need to be a no complaining household -- it's gonna cost a quarter in the Complaining Jar every time we do it. And I also learned that there is a  book out (see sidebar booklist) that talks about this very thing, and a website, too.

Home, workplace and in fact, the world, will be a better place without complaining.