So. Who is living the fairy tale?

Over the holidays I read the biography of Grace Kelly. She died  25 years ago and while I knew a little about her -- beautiful, accomplished actress, princess, mother -- I knew very little of her back story. The media spotlight on Princess Diana and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of York, had done enough to make even most of us die-hard romantics realize that fairy tales really are just that. But before I read the book I thought Princess Grace probably had it pretty good.

The outside picture was of a child of privilege who turned into a stunning, Oscar-winning actress who became a beloved Princess and wanted for nothing.

Hoo boy was I wrong. Overbearing, verbally-abusive parents, seriously troubled siblings, a serially poor chooser of men, a strained marriage, willful children (in their youth), and a chronic sadness about abandoning the acting career she loved. being a Princess was not at all what she had assumed.

I've looked at acquaintances in a room or an office and thought, "Wow. They've really got it all." The problem with assuming that about people is that then we also set up expectations for how they should behave based on the imaginary life we've constructed for them. And when they don't behave that way we can pass inaccurate judgments about them.

Often we never know enough about another person to know what they are grappling with on a daily basis. Maybe the best plan is to assume that like ourselves, everyone is dealing with something challenging and so with open hearts and minds, we decide to support them in whatever way we can. Even if that support takes the form of simply choosing not to judge.

Put into practice it has sweeping ramifications on our daily interactions.

Comments

[online doctor]

to support and to judge is different. If you really admire the person, respect who she is and what she wants.